It’s a simple question, with a simple answer.
Q: Why are people overweight?
A: Because they eat to much, and don’t exercise enough.
The problem is, that’s not the question that matters, and if that question isn’t the one that matters, then the answer probably isn’t all that important either.
Working with thousands of hypnotherapy clients, I have noticed that most people are focused on the “Why” questions all the time. In fact, many of my clients were “expert” at determining the “whys” of what they did long before they ever came to see me. For instance, I would hear stories of their abuse when they were younger, and that they ate food to feel comfort. So the answer to the “why was that client overweight?” was “because she ate to feel comfort.” Overeating is often associated with all sorts of feelings that people are trying to cover up, and the emphasis has usually been on finding out “why” the person feels that way. So what happens is that people go into therapy to discover all the “whys” in their life. “Why are they frightened by authority figures?”, “Why are they nervous in crowds?”, “Why do they overeat?” and on and on… why? Why? WHY?
My answer to all of that, in all seriousness, is: “Who Cares?” Really… It’s kind of like this story:
A guy was driving down the road and got lost. When he realized he was lost, he looked for and found a landmark. Then he got his map out and found the landmark and his position on the map. He knew where he wanted to go, and he could figure out how to get there quite easily on the map, BUT instead, he spent all of his time trying to figure out how he got there in the first place. Rather than driving to his destination, he sat right there struggling and straining to find out how he got here.
The only thing that’s important to me in that story is, “Where is he now?” and “Where does he want to go?”. That’s all we need to know to help him move forward. It doesn’t matter in the least how he got there.
If we take the story a bit further, we could imagine someone coming along and seeing the guy’s frustration and offering to help. When asked what the problem is, our lost motorist replies, “I don’t know how I got here. Can you help me figure out how I got here?”
Now if it was me who chanced upon this guy, I’d politely tell him, “Yes, I can help you figure that out, but I won’t. What I will do, though, is help you get to where you want to go.”
So… does it matter “why” the guy was lost? No… He just was. Does it matter “why” someone is overweight? No… they just are.
What’s next? Read Why Are People Overweight? Part 2-Purpose…
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